Thursday, July 27, 2023

A Nigger at Harvard

             My brother was one of the first African-Americans accepted when Harvard began affirmative-action back in the day. He graduated high school in 1971, in Oakland, two years ahead of me in L.A. It’s not clear that desegregation entered into the great university’s decision—my big bro was always a good student—but that was the era. In his case, however he came to be admitted as a black student on the world’s foremost white campus—it was an experiment that did not turn out well. He floundered over the next few years, poor grades, in and out of school until he was invited not to return. This is the kind of anecdote that’s supposed to give credence to the idea that has been proposed recently—by a lot of Jewish academics and Asian would-be Harvard graduates who feel they’ve been denied their rightful place in the Ivy League—that African Americans should content ourselves with public state-sponsored universities, and perhaps the second rank of those. This is an idea that is actually familiar to black people from history, separate but unequal, and seems unlikely to be accepted today, despite whatever ruling soon emerges from the Supreme Court.

           My brother failed in Cambridge not because he was African-American but because he was an idiot. That is said with unconditional love and affection. He was equal parts pompous ass and shrinking violet, depending on the hour and season, believe me, this is coming from someone who knows. Any of his five siblings could have told the admissions committee but we were not consulted. He applied in secret and failed to note on his application that he had poor social skills (black nerd, actually, in an era before that was even a concept) in an environment, of reluctant integration on The Yard in Boston, or wherever, that despite the university’s best intentions still required the ability to dance and weave socially.

            And sometimes shuck and jive, one assumes.


            My own education at UCLA also came to a sudden end, not because of bad grades but after the racist Los Angeles police arrested me, a black undergraduate trying to better myself, coming out of someone’s house with property not my own. Oh well. However, it’s more instructive to look at what Harvard did to my brother, without granting a degree. “I shall be home for summer,” he wrote from his dorm room one year. It wasn’t completely his fault, he got puffed up on the East Coast and deflated back home. He was also, as un-PC as this term may seem today, a momma’s boy, like me—we all were, me and both my older brothers. We lived in a fatherless household. Our mother was a single mom who wanted the men at home (the oldest had left years before, to attend a historically black college in the South, and never returned) and contributing in some capacity to the household. Any idea of the possible benefits of a diploma from what might be the best university in the world—doors that might open—was overshadowed by Mother’s always more pressing needs. But we digress. My choice for college was easy because UCLA, which was then considered merely a commuter school, without the international reputation it now enjoys, was cheap. My preferred way of viewing higher education is practical, like a bus that takes you where you want to go. The idea that black people are suddenly going to give up our seats, or get off entirely, as is being suggested, doesn’t seem likely. But that the effort to re-segregate is being made at all is still instructive about race in America. 


           This most recent challenge of affirmative action began with a Jewish guy named Blum, a former unsuccessful candidate for Congress from Houston who previously challenged affirmative action at the University of Texas’ flagship campus, across the street from my crib in Austin (where my master’s in Information Studies was awarded last year, actually, although my dean, Eric Meyer, said that he and the Asian and white instructors were not much impressed by my analytic skills, something that white instructors have told me before.) So, like, this cat Blum was unsuccessful in court in Texas just as he was unsuccessful at the polling place. His latest gamble at Harvard—with Asian plaintiffs substituted for the white one in Texas—and a private university instead of a public one—has better luck. Better, based upon a very persuasive argument: everyone knows what good students Asian kids are. And because, when the suit was filed Mr. Blum’s principal ally was the Office of Civil Rights of the U.S. Department of Education, under a Jewish assistant secretary, Kenneth Marcus. To deal with the former argument first, just how good Chinese students are cannot even be measured. Even a bad student in mainland China can make a good white or black American kid look lame. That is coming from someone who has lived and worked among the Chinese. There are, potentially, a few bad Asian-American kids out there, but they haven’t spent enough time around black people, frankly, to know what they’re doing. So, like, it’s a fair argument. Awesome students. The OCR connection isn't so convincing. Still, on the affirmative action front, it seems like a good time for black people to move on. We need to up our game.

            

Thursday, July 13, 2023

Barbie, Black Barbie, and the Cult of Toxic Feminity


 

          Who speaks for Ken?

          Let me try.

          More than a decade ago, on a train from St. Paul to Chicago, a young woman boarded wearing very short athletic shorts. Emblazoned in the back, across her ass, was a single word: Pink! It was a challenge to men, a call to battle even, but little did she know that men and women see pink differently.

         Once, walking with a male friend, after we had just received verbal abuse from a feminist or feminist-like chick, which was doubtless deserved? To set the scene. My friend moaned about our sinking status as men. We were sure then and are still sure today that women are superior beings. Increasingly, they don’t need us anymore, even for procreation. Me and my buddy knew that already back then. But, he smiled ruefully. 

        “At least,” my friend said, “we don’t have to wear makeup.”

         No less an authority than the Washington Post recently pointed out that men are lost in today’s society. This is a new mantra and, basically, it's true. Violence, drug abuse/alcoholism, education levels, employment—whatever the measure, we’re either too high or too low, compared to the chicks. 

        The New Yorker just ran a painful story about men, who are less well-endowed than me for example, who allow themselves to be butchered by doctors in order to enhance their hang. Can you believe that shit? 

        All in service of a yawning great, unsatisfiable and pitiless vagina. Not to raise a male call to arms or anything, but many men—not including me—find theirselves inadequate when it comes time to satisfy the unsatisfiable Barbie or Black Barbie. Chinese chicks and Latinas, not so much.

         It isn’t pretty.

         What about makeup? Why would a sentient human being spread petroleum-based products across her cheeks in our present enlightened era? 

        Women will tell you without hesitation that they do not dress or apply makeup just for men, indeed women say that they do not have to explain their choices at all, “Our bodies, ourselves,” again a feminist call to arms. 

        But who is it for if not guys? 

        Isn’t turnabout fair play? Aren’t health issues fair game? Paying a surgeon to slice open your breast, or your ass, and implant bags of saline, to give you more bounce walking down the street? Isn’t there something pathological about that? Especially if you don’t care what others think.

         It's mind-boggling, bro. 

        False acrylic nails, half-an-inch or more, like ancient Chinese mandarins. False eyelashes, again half-an-inch long, doesn't that interfere with driving? And every other manual task, right? Hello

        How much money goes to a cosmetic and fashion industry that uses laboratory animals for testing and requires petrochemicals for production? 

        Who wants to wear all that shit, in this heat? That's Ken's question. Especially when the heat index is enough to kill? Pink! What exactly does that mean? Get your hair cut and move on. Yes, like a guy. 

          Ranting aside, you have to respect Barbie nonetheless. 

          During my childhood in the Sixties little black girls played with Barbie, if their families could afford her. Barbie was not black but dolls were not black and the little girls who were my sisters and my friends played with what they had. The magic of playing with Barbie, that you could imagine her doing anything, was felt by little colored girls too.

         She was impressive, she could pose to fit any narrative, much more than G.I. Joe for example, who only played tough guy and is long buried now and forgotten. 

         As a feminist, Barbie knew what she wanted and when boyfriend Ken first showed up she had him right away by the nuts. 

        Is that a cry for understanding that we see forming on his speechless plastic lips, as he rides in the passenger seat next to Barbie with the top down? 

        Later, he is posed at the restaurantwhile paying for dinner. Together with a hefty tip, in order to show that he would be a good provider. Barbie is away in the Ladies Room powdering her nose and freshening her makeup. 

       What are we to make of Ken's scribbled note on the check, directed at the wait person, Help! I'm being exploited!